In 1958, there was a production of Shakespeare's "King Lear." And it wasdone by B'nai Brith, an entire Jewish group, in the Bronx. And I went.And the actors deliberately used New York Jewish accents. They overdidit. And the audience, aside from one priest and maybe a few others, wasentirely Jewish. And King Lear is about people who don't say, "Thanks."And, in the middle of the play, this Jewish actor (It's the bestShakespeare play I ever saw in my life!) is talking about his daughters,ungrateful daughters. And he said something like this, "How shawper thana soipent (serpent), how shawper than a soipent's tooth it is to have athankless child!" And, in front of me, an old man turned to his wife andhe said, "Tell me about it!" 1958.... but I see it so clearly!

Today's gospel, to some of us anyhow, is a "Tell me about it" gospel."Weren't all of you made clean? Where are the other nine?" (See. OurLord FEELS it. I would never have said that. I would have pretended, "Idon't care.") But Our Lord, completely and perfectly human as well asGod's son, "Where are the other nine, that just one came back?" And theone who came back, and this is what the Bible scholars that I checkedwith this week (three big books, Bible Scholars) say, that the spirituallesson Jesus is trying to teach to the Jews is, "Don't throw anybodyout! This guy is a Samaritan, but it doesn't mean he is a pariah or aloser. In fact, he's the only one. The other nine are Jewish, but thisoutcast, he comes back." You see, the Jews couldn't stand Samaritans andvice-versa. But to me, it's about "Tell me about it!" And Jesus feelsit! Ouch! Where are the other guys?

I don't know why I always thought the others were all men. Notnecessarily. Why would they be? If you are a leper, you are a leper.Rich or poor, you go to the leper colony. And when you come to a town,asking for help, you stay at a distance and you ring a bell. And thevillagers would bring out some old clothes and groceries and stuff andpush them with big, big poles so they wouldn't have to touch them. Andif you touched a leper, you, yourself were an outcast. You couldn't goto the temple. If you come near enough to talk to them, you are anoutcast. So, Jesus was once again an outcast. I don't think it botheredhim.

Anyhow, over the years, I have been thinking about why did the othernine men and women, why didn't they come back? And I've come up with awhole bunch of reasons. But, for tonight, one per person.... Why humanbeings don't go back and say thanks, including me.....

The first one, the Snob! "Thank God, I'm away from these losers, atlast! Augh! Leper Colony! Low lifes! And now that Jesus character, who'sprobably a leader of some kind of a cult, he came close enough to be anoutcast also. Well, I'm certainly not going to hang out with him and bean outcast again. I'm gonna hurry home!"

Number two, the Rationalist. "Clearly, the whole thing was acoincidence. I've been chewing on those cucumber cusps and that's amedication I've heard about and it probably just kicked in. No suchthing as 'miraculous cures'!"

Third is the Grudger. Hold a grudge! And she says, "Why did I getleprosy in the first place?!" (I kind of identify with her.) "I was agood Jewish woman. I kept the Torah. I went to temple. And then, I getthis? And now it seems my skin is clean? Why I got it is inexplicable.Why I'm clean at this point is inexplicable. The whole thing is amystery. To Hell with it!".... Isn't there anybody at Mass, besides me,today who at some point hasn't almost felt a little bit that way? "Whyme in the first place?" The Grudger!

Number Four, the youngest, probably teen-agers, maybe even kids amongthem. And the youngest, teen-age boy or girl, young man or woman,"W-O-W! I'm clean again! I should go back and..... Wait a minute! I'veheard about this guy, Jesus of Nazareth, and the guys that are with him.They follow him. They have given up everything. Supposing he takes agood look at me and says, 'Follow me.' No way!! Think I'll just hurryhome. There might be a Sophomore Hop!"

Number Five is the Hedonist. "Look at this skin! Ooh, it's the skin Ihad... before. Every day in that leper colony, I would say to myself, "Ihave virtue, but it ain't been tested. No one is even interested! Well,now that I look good again, I am sure many men will be interested. I'llget some jewelry and get my hair done and..... I suppose I could go backand thank that man. He was quite good-looking! Too bad! I hear he "doesgood." I am about to make up for lost time and do lots of "bad."

Number Six is the Pessimist. "Yeah-h-h. I look good now but it'sprobably temporary.... I'm always going to feel like a leper inside.There were too many years of feeling lousey. It'll probably be aremission. I'll get it back in the morning. And when I get home, no onewill want me, haven't earned any money in a long time. Leave me alone.Leave me alone....."

Number Seven is the oldest leper of the ten, and he is walking slowlybecause he is old. Maybe he got leprosy in middle age. "I suppose Ishould return to that carpenter, that wonder-worker that we've heardabout, who worked a wonder for me and say 'Thank you'.... I am NEVERever again going to say 'Thank You' to anyone. I spent years saying'Thank you' for cast-off clothes and cast-off food. 'Thank you.' 'Thankyou.' Ringing my bell.... No more thank you's ever again, to that man orYahweh or whatever! I'm too old and tired and fed up!"

And the Eighth was the Narcissist, about 27 or 28. "WOW! Hit the gym!And I sure could use some Aramis or Armani deodorant, and get back inthe scene. First thing I'm gonna get is a mirror. I'll get around tothanking him when I, you know, when I get around to it...."

And the Ninth is the Executive, the man or woman who used to be anexecutive before thay got the terrible disease. "Let's see now. Once Iget back and settled, I'll have my lawyer call his lawyer. And we cannegotiate an appropriate series of installment payments.... when I getaround to it. There are lots of things I have to handle in thebusiness."

Of course, you know, these are all grotesque cartoons, but the humanheart has so many reasons to delay and postpone, or not want to. OK. So,as usual, there is an acronym. By the way, I had a baptism here of afamily friend a couple of weeks ago on a Saturday. And they know I likeacronyms because it helps me to remember, you know, a word you make upfrom the first letters of other words.... And, there were about ahundred people, this big family gathering. I said, "I like acronyms anda baptism is a joyous occasion. So I was wondering... I could use theacronym of PARTY which has five letters or I could use the acronymCELEBRATION, which has eleven. But rather than follow the baptism of achild by the homicide of a priest, I think I'll do PARTY." And you couldhear the whole congregation in a wave cumulatively saying, "Tell meabout it!"

So our acronym for today's gospel about the one man, the outcast, whocame back and showed real class, the Samaritan, the reject, he showedclass. He came back and Our Lord was so touched. But anyhow, here is ouracronym for thanks. A wonderful thing has happened in the CatholicChurch since I was a young priest. Almost everybody comes to Communion.And the word Communion, Eucharist, is a Greek word. It means "to givethanks." That 's what "Eucharist" means in Greek, to "give thanks." So,no matter how you are feeling (And I know some of you aren't feelinggreat today, just the law of averages.) When you receive the Eucharist,give thanks. And here's the acronym, M A P.

M is a misery I no longer have to carry, a cross I no longer have toshoulder in my life. It's been lifted, and I thank you, Lord. Just pickone, a misery that's gone. That's the M of MAP.

The A is ABSOLUTION. Lord, I give you thanks for Absolution. I wasforgiven, either by another human being whom I hurt and this otherperson took me off the hook. It's OK. Thank you. We're friends again. Orit was in confession after many years or after a sin. I don't even wantto think about it again. And God forgave me and I was cleaned of my sin.I want to thank you again for that absolution.

The P of MAP is All right. Thank you. That's my P (Prayer). Thank you.But God, sometimes I wonder if you're there. And Jesus, I wonder if I'mtalking to air and Lord, I sometimes wonder if I'm talking to myself,even when I give thanks in the Eucharist. But, help me. I'm weak. Helpme. I'm weak. My faith is weak. Help me. I'm weak. To which, Our Lord,with fierce affection, whispers back, "Tell me about it."