Don't look at it now, but in the bulletin that the pastor drew up for today, for Christmas, he takes you through that Christmas song, "... And a par-tri-idge in a pear tree," that one. And he takes you all through the different elements. I could never remember, you know, "six hippos hopping.... cobras crouching...." But this morning I would like you to pretend with me that there are "Seven people brooding" out there, at this Mass, Seven people brooding, pondering, thinking ... Seven of them.

We'll call the first (She's sitting over there.) Millie.... Melancholic Millie. And she's sitting there, saying, "Oh, God!... Oh-h-h... Christmas sermon, Christmas pointsettas, Christmas presents, Christmas platitudes.... God, He's old! Are there any priests left who aren't refugees from the geriatrics ward? Well, the one who is sitting down, he looks healthy and young. I remember..." (This is melancholic Millie, and we can read what she is thinking, like balloons in a cartoon, we can read over their heads.) We read that she is thinking, "Oh, I remember the worst Christmas of my life, in college. Such bad things were happening in my own life, both academic and personal and family life, awful Christmas. I remember a couple of kids in the college dorm getting ready to leave for Christmas vacation, and a some of them were talking about Jesus and "Jesus was a nice man. Period. He was a nice man, wonderful teacher. He had said some lovely things that you could use on 'Brotherhood Week.' Just a nice man.... And then I'm so glad," Millie's thinking. "I'm so glad I ran across that chaplain, the Newman Club chaplain, on campus after vacation, and he told me that you can't really, with any kind of honesty, Christmas or no Christmas, you can't say Jesus was a nice man, period. And he gave me this book by C. S. Lewis, who was a convert to believing and read the things that , when Jesus grew up, not just the cute, cuddly, adorable child in the crib, but Jesus when He grew up, some of the things He said, some of the things He did.... Read them! He was either a liar or a lunatic or He was just what He said He was, the Lord. You can't pat Him on the head and say, 'Nice Jesus, go away, with Gandhi and Madam Curie.' You just can't. Some of the things He said are outrageous! 'The Father and I are One,' He says when He was on trial for His life. He knew exactly what that meant to an intelligent Jewish audience. The Father, God, and I are the same nature. That's outrageous. What a liar! Or, what a lunatic. He went around to various people and, after talking to them for awhile (Read what He did.), He'd say to these people, 'Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven.' Lunatic!! Who are you to forgive sins?! He stepped on MY toe, and you say he's forgiven?' And He's dying, on a cross, 33 years later, suffocating and naked and bleeding and He turns to the other guy on His right and says, "This day you will be with Me in Paradise." Who did He think He was?! You can't patronize Christ. Nice man, wonderful... Liar, lunatic, or what did He say He was? The Lord!...... Oh, he's still talking up there... And a par-tri-idge in a pear tree...."

The next one is Belligerent Billy.... over here somewhere.... Bellicose Billy. And he's sitting there. He's thinking, "Oh, boy! Am I glad I got back to prayer, even after all the suffering and the stress, I'm glad I got back to prayer.... But that's why we're all here, we're here to pray to Christ, Christ and me. That's why we're here. Christmas! Glad I got back to praying. In fact I went shopping a couple of weeks ago to get a manger, one of these posh stores. The price of getting a manger! And Mary is wearing a veil by Christian Dior!! And Joseph has designer pajamas! That's not the ones I am praying to. That's not the Child Jesus that I pray to. I'm so glad that that wise priest when he was dying said to me, and he was in his late 70's, 'When you pray, hold on. Don't lose courage. You're going to find out,' (And I did. I found out!) 'that God's answer to prayer, if you keep going is Yes or You got to wait. You got to wait a while... or If you trust Me, I've got something better planned for you.' I think that's true: 'Yes, Wait a while,' or 'Trust My providence.' I'm also glad I found out that I don't have to be a dummy to be a Christian or a Catholic. So glad I got that book by converts and Catholics, some of them Nobel Prize-winning scientists such as Alexis Carrel and Louis Pasteur and that Stanford professor that I bumped into a couple of weeks ago, the Stanford professor who just joined the Church by using his brains and studying evidence and proof: There is a God, Jesus was the Son, He did set up a ..... I'm so glad. I'm so glad. We can't just spend the whole Christmas with the Baby Jesus. He grew up. And He told us to use our brains. I'm glad I'm back to praying, although I pray badly and I'm distracted. And I've been saving these articles for years now, about scientists studying prayer. There was a twenty-year study I heard about at Stanford in 1992, a twenty-year study and the end result was "Gee, prayer seems to work." And, last week, in the New York Times, Columbia University ran a prayer project, women who desperately wanted babies and couldn't get pregnant with a baby and they had people praying across the world that they would get pregnant, she and her husband would have a baby, and the results according to the New York Times of the Columbia Research Control Committee, 'Magnificent and amazing. We didn't expect anything like this because none of the women knew they were being prayed about. So you couldn't say it was "autosuggestion." Yeah. I think I'll keep on praying.... But I hope he doesn't keep on talking!! ... And a par-tri-idge in a pear tree...."

And the next three are Larry, Moe and Curley. And they are scattered here. And Larry says, (And he has been thinking this ever since he walked into church.) "Did I buy enough ham? Who would expect that Aunt Minnie from Wet Moccasin, Idaho would show up with her four kids? Oh, well, I guess we'll eke it out. Let me see now. Let me see."

And Moe (Moe is way in the back.), and Moe is thinking, "I am glad I got to communal confession this week because when I confessed the sins that I had been away for a long time, all the priest said was, "Welcome home. Welcome home."

And Curley (who is up here in the front), Curley is thinking, "Doesn't he know that we forget the sermon two minutes after it is over? Some are already in a state of coma? Why doesn't he do what I have found that good teachers do and that is, when they really want you to hold onto something that is important (They know that you will forget the lecture.) but hand me a book. What 's that he is doing? He's showing a book. Oh, I think I've heard of that. Yeah. Some priest told me he spent two years studying this in the seminary, you know, the proofs that there is a God, Jesus was His son, He set up a church.... two years and it has all been piled up in a little book. What's the title?... "More than a Carpenter." Boy! It's a very small paperback and only four bucks. I wonder if the priest gets a cut.... More than a Carpenter.... How am I going to remember that? Let me think. I will have to think of something that rhymes. Oh! I remember. When I was in college, I was dating Myrtle. And she broke my heart when she dumped me, and I went to the bar near the campus and I talked to the bartender named Dan. And I really bent Dan's ear. Now let's see. More than .... the Bartender. More than .... the Carpenter. Anyhow, some usher told me the priest hung up the sign on the bulletin board with the name. God doesn't expect us to be dopes. Use brains. Are there reasons to believe?..... And a par-tri-idge in a pear tree...."

And the last two (We are up to six and seven and we'll do them together. And one of them is here at this Mass. This is from me, my thinking and talking.) A couple of weeks ago I got a phone call. His name is Dave. And I got a call, rather late at night. His wife was working at the time, and he was taking care of the two little kids at home. I live on his property a short distance from here. And he called. He said, "Mike, could you get over here? I'm in terrible pain." So I hustled over and he was bent over with some kind of terrible intestinal agony. And I thought, in my usual stalwart and self-assured way, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!??!?!" And then I remembered that tacked up on the bulletin board in his house was a doctor's number. So I dialed the doctor, who didn't live far, and the doctor came scuttling over. And the doctor went in with Dave to the bedroom and I went and watched the two little girls. And I thought, "Oh! The doctor is here!" He spent some time with Dave. Then they came out and the doctor explained that it would take some time for the pain to subside and here is some medicine, and follow the directions.

As I walked across the yard back to my own little place, I thought, I really did, I thought "That's Christmas. Yeah.... The doctor has arrived and he's going to give a prescription for some medicine and it's going to take TIME." That's why Jesus, all his life, calls what He is saying "a seed." A seed takes time. But the doctor has landed. He had landed as a little baby in a little town a long time ago and He liveth still.

Anyhow, that's seven people brooding. And the name of the book is "More than a Carpenter." And all seven are looking at the priest thinking, "He's about... to... shut... his... mouth. He... did! .......And a par-tri-idge in a pear tree...."