Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family. I went to the internet dictionary, and looked up the word “holy”, and I discovered that there were seven definitions. They ranged from “recognized as sacred” to “inspiring fear, awe or grave distress”. If you’ve ever been or heard of a child being described as a “holy terror”, you understand that last definition completely.
I then looked up the word “family” and I found 17 definitions. They began with the definition of family as “a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children”, and proceeded to a definition that tied the word “family” to the mafia, and concluded with a mathematical definition where the word “family” is used to define a set of numbers. So the word “family” has a lot of meanings.
Then I did something else: I connected the two words and looked up “Holy Family”. There was only one definition: The Infant Jesus, Mary and St. Joseph. There was no other Holy Family of any kind mentioned.
I thought for a while about that and questioned what to do with that piece of information. There is only one Holy Family, and it consists of Jesus, the only human ever conceived solely by the power of the Holy Spirit, Mary, the only human being ever conceived without sin, and Joseph, a Jewish carpenter who seems to have a pretty open line of communication with God through the appearance of angels in his dreams. So how are we to relate to that? Maybe we should give up and walk away. After all, this trio shows us a standard that is impossible to achieve. They are perfection in the flesh. And I am so far from perfection that there is no use in even trying to imitate them. Given their perfection and my brokenness, I think walking away is an understandable reaction. But we all know that is not the answer. Perhaps a better response to the example of the Holy Family begins with a clearer understanding of what it is that makes them holy.
There are three qualities that stand out in the life of the Holy Family that are the hallmarks of their holiness. And these are qualities that all of us can put into practice. They are obedience to God, mutual love within the family, and service to others. All of these qualities are lived out in the lives of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Jesus very existence is a story of obedience. The living God stooped down from heaven and became one of us. He lived in relative poverty while others enjoyed the material things of his creation. And we witness the ultimate image of Jesus obedience in the agony in the garden: “Father”, he prayed, “If you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.”
The angel told Mary of God’s plan and she said, “Be it done to me according to your word.” She could have said “No”. Her life would probably have been easier, in human terms, if she had. But she was obedient to God’s plan. And in her obedience she gave God, and all of humanity, a resounding “Yes”.
We might say Joseph was a dreamer, but in his dreams an angel of the Lord spoke to him. He could have divorced Mary when he discovered she was pregnant, but he obeyed God as he listened to the voice of the angel. In today’s Gospel we hear of his obedience to God both when he took Mary and Jesus to safety in Egypt, and when he returned with them to Israel.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph lived lives of mutual love. Mary and Joseph’s love for Jesus was obvious as they searched for a place to stay in Bethlehem. When Jesus was left behind in Jerusalem, “lost in the temple”, we witness Mary and Joseph’s love in their anguish as they search for him. And when Jesus was dying on the cross, we witness Mary’s love for him as she followed him in what had to be unthinkable grief.
Being of service to others is the third hallmark of holiness. Whether he was cleansing lepers, feeding multitudes or bringing the dead back to life, Jesus ministry was a ministry of service. And his ultimate service to all of humanity was his death on the cross.
When Mary had enough issues of her own to deal with, she went to be of service to her cousin Elizabeth who was then pregnant with John the Baptist. When she was a guest at the wedding feast at Cana, she prodded Jesus into his first public miracle, and it was a miracle of service others. When Jesus was dying on the cross, she was drafted by him into service as the mother of all humanity.
The scriptures don’t tell us a lot about him, but St. Joseph’s very profession was one of service. He crafted objects that were needed from wood, stone or other raw materials. He served all of us by being an example of goodness that the young Jesus looked up to and learned from. He taught Jesus his trade. I think it is arguable that there has never been anyone who served the community more in greater anonymity than St. Joseph did. `
So, now I want to ask you a question. If you get this wrong, Father Brian will probably fire me, so help me with this. Who are the members of the Holy Family? Can someone here tell me who the Holy Family is? Are they right? [The community responded “Jesus, Mary and Joseph!”]
Right! A few minutes ago I suggested that the hallmarks of the Holy Family are things that all of us can do. In a perfect world, we can all obey God, love our families and serve others. But it’s never been a perfect world, in Jesus time or ours. Mary could have been shunned or even stoned because she was pregnant. Joseph might have been a social outcast for accepting Mary as his wife. This Holy Family could not even find decent lodging for Jesus birth. And in spite of all their trials, they were still the Holy Family. And they were the Holy Family because Jesus was the center of their existence.  
And that is the essence of the Holy Family that we have to strive to incorporate into our lives. Just as Jesus is the center of Mary’s “Yes” and Joseph’s “Yes” to God’s plan, Jesus also has to be the center of our lives, especially in times of adversity. When we experience the trials and struggles of life, that’s a tall order; but that is what our faith calls us to. In spite of sicknesses, deaths of loved ones, unemployment and foreclosures, we can be part of the Holy Family if we keep Christ at the center of our existence.
The catechism of the Catholic Church states, “The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason it can and should be called a domestic church. It is a community of faith, hope and charity”.  As families, we can only be “holy families”, we can only be a domestic church, and we can only be a people of obedience, mutual love and service, if we live our lives with Christ as the center of our actions and our being. So on this feast of the Holy Family, let us join in prayer that we can strive to model our lives after the example of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and become the holy families that God intends us all to be.