Dear Parishioners,

What's it to be?

In life's moments of serious decisions, the way of choice is rarely easy or obvious! I have many conversations with myself as I run the Iron Horse Trail daily. My conversations impinge on what blocks the flow of God's life withing me? Why do I sometimes mess up the inner divine image through my shortsighted options and selfish reactions? Why do I interrupt the divine dance of the soul, forgetting the eternal incarnate rhythm? Why do I allow the fires of inner love to grow dim and cold because my attention has strayed?

How do I strive in living my life in an unceasing surrender to God? How do I hold and balance the flow of positive and negative energy? The leading spiritual gurus believe we require wisdom to discern "the way of choice." Much wisdom can be harnessed by paying attention and noticing general patterns in our life. How do we choose to respond when we are hurt? When we are put down or ignored? When our pride is dented? Can we name the direction our choices usually take? Are we like St. Paul, who chose the evil he wished to avoid? Recently Pope Benedict in "Spe Salvi" asks us to notice how we choose "to deceive ourselves with hidden lies."

Michael Losier in his book: "Law of Attraction," explains that we attract to our lives whatever we choose to give our best attention to, whether positive or negative. Whenever we are drawn to the need for some spring cleaning of the soul, he suggests that we first of all choose the positive horizon we wish to reach. Into this we release our energy, nourishing the vision and keeping it in focus, notciing when we allow doubts and anxieties to distract us from that horizon. Positive and negative emotions, he writes, cannot occupy the mind at the same time. Scripture supports his claim: "where our heart is, there will our treasure be too." No doubt about it, whatever is "on our mind," that is what we are attracting more of to ourselves. Our hearts too, are creatures of habit, gradually becoming identified with "the object of their hunger."

It begs the question: What do I give "free rent" to in my mind and heart that does not serve me well?

People are surprised at the extent of the choice they have regarding the direction of each days living, leading to profound satisfaction or dissatisfaction. The fact being: with God's power in us we are al blessed with the grace of choosing our way of being in the world. Michael Losier claims we choose to love or to hate, we choose to be hurt or to be healed. We do not have to be victims of what happens to us; instead we are blessed with the power of discerning our menons as disguised occasions of grace. We need to pay "attention to our intention" and notice our desire in and through our ego to control.

We carry within us "two wolves" that forever are competing in the human soul: a benevolent one of peace and joy and the malevolent one who forever is on the prowl. Which one wins? The one you feed best! Which wolf are we feeding with every thought, feeling, word and breath of our lives?

All our "inner work" no doubt is a major enterprise! To keep substituting, the light for darkness, the positive for the negative, freedom for enslavement, respect for resentment, and blessing for curse: is indeed the work of a saint. It is indeed a holy skill to pause for a breath, reflect, and suspend judgment and blame, so as to discenr and purify the motivation behind our response. To be big enough to overlook many things; to let go of ancient hurts, careless sore words, and the crossfire of angry responses fired "in the heat of the moment."

It seems to me at times there is something pitifully seductive about the way our wayward minds keep returning to pick over again the poisoned meat of resentment and revenge. I must confess this is my personal struggle and grief!

How do we overcome all this? I think we have to be vigilant and aware if we ever succeed in breaking bad habits and distorted life patterns. We have to make space for grace, to choose when to walk away; from the look, the word, the thought that could hold us captive the rest of that day. Choosing begins in small ways: letting go of little wounds and stings, anxieties and of "all victim roles," while there is still time.

The noble psychologies Viktor Frankl, purified in the torment and crucifixion of his concentration camp experience, rejoiced in what he called, "the last of the human freedoms," the freedom to choose to love the one who was intent on destroying his life. Wow! We can learn from this!

Our most important life choices are rearely obvious or easy. Side by side sometimes they look alike, and often live at the same address.

My friends, at the dawn of a new year, let us be wise with our new choices, let us pause to ponder on the horizon of possibilities offered! Let us learn "to swim under water" so as to slow down and discern what makes for a healthy life choice.

To be or not to be, that is the question
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or take arms against a sea of troubles.
            (Shakespeare's Hamlet)

Your Associate Pastor,
Donie O'Connor